Ahhh Vegas. The city of sin. The city that now reeks of weed with every footfall on the sidewalk littered with porn card advertisements little illegal Guatemalans try to force into your hand. The city my favorite band, The Killers, are from. The city that can bleed you dry. If you let it.

The first time I went to Vegas it was still in the throws of rebranding itself as a family friendly getaway hence the 2009 picture of me with my family below. Since then they have scrapped that image and gone back to the city of debauchery. I don’t know how many times I’ve been to Vegas but every time I go to the city it has changed just a little. Now when I go though, the real adventure is what surrounds the desert oasis like Red Rock Canyon, Valley of Fire, and the Lost City.

I believe I’ve been in every casino now so when I took my wife for the first time I showed her all the highlights. Like the carved mammoth tusk at Treasure Island, the Venetian’s canals, the beautiful art at the Bellagio, etc… The last time we went was for my wife’s birthday where we stayed for free… well technically we had to sit through a soul crushing time-share presentation but every dollar saved in the City of Sin is a dollar not handed over to whomever runs that place. Speaking of the mob, when you’re in town, make sure to check out the Mob Museum, the Neon Museum & Boneyard, and of course Old Town Vegas.

Below is a quick rundown of the fun things to see and do that DOESN’T involve gambling. And with regards to that; I grew up Mormon so I was taught not to gamble. That being said, when my father took us there the second time we signed up for every casino’s rewards program, used the free slot money they gave us, pressed the little flashy loud buttons, and walked out with hundreds of free moneys. The house DOESN’T always have to win.

Obviously, when in Vegas, one must stop and admire the truly awesome fountains at Bellagio. They are an awesome sight to behold and at night the show goes on every 30 minutes from 3:00 PM to 7:30 PM and every 15 minutes from 8:00 PM to midnight Monday through Friday. On the weekends they dance every 30 minutes from 12:00 PM to 7:30 PM and every 15 minutes from 8:00 PM to midnight. Inside the Bellagio are always gorgeous art instillations with water works and flowers. There’s a really good Gelato place somewhere inside as well. Oh, and don’t miss the beautiful colored glass ceiling in the lobby.

From near or far, Agathla Peak looks majestic. You can see it from Muley Point on Cedar Mesa and from Highway 160 south of Kayenta and it’s always beautiful in every season.

From near or far, Agathla Peak looks majestic. You can see it from Muley Point on Cedar Mesa and from Highway 160 south of Kayenta and it’s always beautiful in every season.

From near or far, Agathla Peak looks majestic. You can see it from Muley Point on Cedar Mesa and from Highway 160 south of Kayenta and it’s always beautiful in every season.

“Is this the real Ceasar’s Palace?”

“Is this the real Ceasar’s Palace?”

From near or far, Agathla Peak looks majestic. You can see it from Muley Point on Cedar Mesa and from Highway 160 south of Kayenta and it’s always beautiful in every season.

Towards the southern end of the strip is MGM with its massive golden lion and New York, New York. New York has a little recreation of the city inside the hotel as well as a rollercoaster that zips around the inside and outside. It also has a recreation of the Brooklyn Bridge, the NY skyline, and the Statue of Liberty. Across the street to the south end is the enchanting Excalibur which if I were a kid would be my dream destination.

At the southern end of the strip near the airport is Mandalay Bay and the Luxor. Inside the Luxor is amazing to behold. Mandalay Bay has an aquarium inside which I have not been to but I wouldn’t mind enjoying one day. Beware though, the Saudi Royal family owns the top floors of Mandalay Bay and it’s possible they could perpetrate an assassination attempt with helicopters buzzing around while they indiscriminately shoot at a country music festival which results in 61 deaths including the ex-CIA patsy they put up in a hotel room. Theoretically.

I have stayed at Rio twice now and it’s a nice hotel with large rooms but it is slightly off the strip so you will be walking. Which normally is no problem but in the summer it still hovers in the 90s after the sun sets. Some of the rooms have a great view of the mountains to the west.

Then way up on the north side of the strip past Circus Circus (famous for being in 007’s Diamonds Are Forever) and the enormous souvenir store is The Strat (when I stayed there it was called the Stratosphere). You can take the elevator all the way to the top (for a fee) and from there you can see all of Vegas, the desert, and the mountains. It’s worth it. I believe now there are rides up there as well.

Beyond the Strat is Old Vegas which has its own page.

While not on the strip, Vegas’ Mob Museum is a great visit although… parts of it are gruesome and gory. The museum does have a ton of information and a few interactive exhibits like the electric chair and getting your mugshot taken.

There are a ton of shows in Vegas from Cirque du Soleil to Elvis (and a plethora of entertainers from the past) impersonators to magic shows. I saw a car fly around the audience at a magic show once. I’ve also seen the reincarnation of Michael Jackson. No matter what performance you choose, you will enjoy the show.

I am a big fan of Elvis and throughout the years I always give the impersonators a few bucks to get my picture taken with them. Even Mexican Elvis.

You’ll never be wanting for food or drinks either with every casino having plenty of bars, many a restaurants, and usually a buffet (or two).

There’s also fun stuff like Putt-Putt! I believe there are two glow in the dark ones, although that could be different now. One is KISS themed and the other is Twilight Zone themed.

No matter what you do in Vegas, if you wanna have a ton of fun, you will. But remember… what happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas.